Quid pro quo

Sept. 12, 2012

I’ll admit, I’m having a little trouble focusing this past week. My excitement about committing to travel to Taiwan is tempered by nervousness (internal) and work pressure (external). The Serenity Prayer has been my mantra.

The idea of guanxi seems similar to building and maintaining social/political capital in the U.S., although I understand it runs much deeper in Taiwanese culture. Personally, I find this type of maneuvering and keeping track of favors exhausting. I don’t have time for high-maintenance relationships in my personal life. But at work, I often have to deal with them. My work setting, in particular, seems so political, I think in part because of the small community from which it draws its workforce. Everybody knows everybody, and so many people have worked together so long, I sometimes feel I’m being punished for the sins of bosses before me.

Reading about other Taiwanese traditions also reminds me of interactions with a Taiwanese friend’s husband. Both were Taiwan-born and emigrated with their families — she at age 5; he in his teens, I believe. When we used to go out to dinner with them, there was always competition for payment, which my husband found frustrating. He preferred to go Dutch so we never had to keep track of who owed whom what and when. I also remember how different my friend’s wedding was — her husband seemed so material-focused (how much would guests give them), but in hindsight, perhaps it was more of a cultural difference than greed. Their wedding was beautiful, incorporating Chinese elements and American ones. I remember climbing narrow stairs in the bride’s aunt and uncle’s house to a tiny finished attic in order for the bride and groom to pay respects to their ancestors. I also observed a tea ceremony in which the bride served her new in-laws. The bride wore a traditional white wedding gown for the ceremony, but she changed into a traditional Chinese red dress for the first part of the reception. She later changed into a third (more comfortable) dress for dancing.