Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The only constant ...

The only constant is change. So the saying goes. And such is life with Miss M. I treasure the weeks where we settle into a nice routine. I treasure them more when the routine disappears.

Last week, she dropped down to 5 feedings a day. She was eating late (9 or 10-ish), and going to bed and sleeping until 5-6 a.m. One night, she even went 11 hours between feedings (measured from start to start). Then Monday we had our two-month appointment and shots. The rest of the day was wonky -- she was fussy and sleepy. She took one side at 7, and one side at 8, and went back to sleep. I expected her to wake around 10-11 for a final feeding, but she slept until 3 a.m. She did it again last night.

I shouldn't complain. She is still going 8 hours between feedings, which I'm told is pretty great for a breastfed baby at two months. It's just not falling at such a convenient time for me.

Friday afternoon I'm going to work, and we're doing a half-day with our daycare provider. I'm anxious and irritated. And I'm insanely jealous that this woman will soon be spending more waking hours with my child than I will. I resent my job. I resent my dependence on money. I resent the whole world, because love really isn't enough to get by on. I'm trying not to take it out on my husband (who is currently unemployed). But I'm not doing a good job of that the past few days.

I'm blaming it on the return of those 3 a.m. feedings.

1 comment:

  1. That sucks about having to go back to work and all that dependence on money stuff, especially at a time that you are sleep-deprived. I hope the transition goes smoothly. Good luck!

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